My 3 Bases of Recovery. Living the Twelve Steps as a Way of Life.

While reflecting on practical ways to live the twelve steps in my life, I started thinking about the most basic elements of recovery and what "living the program" looks like. Everyone I know who is living a happy sober life also happens to be abiding by the following three principles on a daily basis. They are striving daily to: Break Isolation, practice Honest Self Appraisal, and strive toward Spiritual Progress.

Upon further examination of these three "bases" of recovery I did an experiment to try and see if I could fit the twelve steps into them. My attempt proved to be a success! All of the steps fits snuggly under these three principles. Here is a write up of my experiment:

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Break Isolation:

• step 5, 
• step 9, 
• step 12.
• (Daily examples: attend meetings, ask for help, phone calls, sponsorship, giving back to the program)

Honest Self Appraisal:

• step 1, 
• step 4, 
• step 8, 
• step 10.
• (Daily examples: Daily review, spot check inventories, regular housekeeping, "early warning system")

Spiritual Progress:

• step 2, 
• step 3, 
• step 6, 
• step 7, 
• step 11.
• (Daily examples: Morning studies, prayer, scriptures, reading recovery material, meet with bishop, attend temple, etc)

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So, basically my point in coming up with this was to help me find a simple way to check myself each day to see if I am truly "living the program" as a way of life. If I am making daily efforts to break out of self imposed isolation, if I am making an honest self appraisal of my thoughts words and actions, if I am taking steps toward improving my relationship with God each day, then I can assuredly know that I am "living the program" today! Tomorrow I need to start all over again. I cannot take vacations from these basic elements of the Twelve Steps. If you make sure that you are covering these three bases everyday, then you will find increased strength to stay in the "safe zone" of recovery. Have fun with recovery, and enjoy it! There are rules to recovery, but there is enough room to make each day in recovery special. Stay on the bases, and stay safe!

ARPSUPPORT.ORG

www.arpsupport.org

A grassroots effort to bring sponsorship to the ARP/PASG program has produced a website where individuals who seek a support person can get help in their search.

In their own words:

"ARPSUPPORT is a group of Latter-day Saints who have overcome addiction and are reaching out to individuals, offering guidance and help in applying the 12 steps of the Addiction Recovery Program in their own lives, to enable them to break the bands of addiction through the Atonement of Jesus Christ."

Please visit arpsupport.org if you are searching for a support person in the ARP program. This is a website that you can trust because it is made by people just like you and me who have found sobriety through the ARP program because of sponsorship. They want to share the gift of sponsorship with you.

www.arpsupport.org

A Way to Escape the Pornography Plague.

A plague is covering the land and affecting families, relationships and church membership. Similar to leprosy, there is an associated "shame" that goes along with it. Those who have been stricken with the "new plague" feel forced to withdraw from society and rot in self imposed isolation. Nobody wants to talk about this plague, nobody wants to acknowledge that it is spreading and threatening the foundation of our way of life. But, just as lepers were healed by the powerful hand of Jesus Christ, He still provides the only way to escape.

In the last days "men's hearts will fail them". A "failing heart" is only one aspect of this malady, but in its acknowledgement lies the cure. There is hope! Before continuing this discussion, it is important to emphatically state that THERE IS HOPE!

Worthiness and Recovery

How does worthiness fit into recovery? What is worthiness? Is there a difference between being worthy to take the sacrament and worthy to go to heaven if I died today?

I have talked with men that are going to the PASG program and are finding abstinence and sobriety from their addiction, but they are still not authorized to go to the temple, or perhaps to take the sacrament. There are others who have been excommunicated from the church, but are now striving as hard as they can to become re-baptized. I'm sure they have asked themselves: "if I'm not currently authorized to go to the temple, am I still worthy to go to heaven if I died today?"

Addict or Not?

Am I an addict or do I just have a problem? The church has come out with a new site that can help you either way. It is packed full of wonderful materials designed for both the casual reader as well as the earnest studier. It is designed for the addict and non-addict, the priesthood leader and the struggling spouse.

I hope that this new resource will be a source of strength no matter who you are.

combatingpornography.org

He Does Deliver Me From Bondage

I think of how this problem was so complex, difficult, and most seemingly impossible to overcome. Doesn’t matter how many times I committed to quitting the behavior I always found myself back where I started.

So what finally changed for me that I am now capable of being clean today? I feel I could write volumes on this subject regarding my long struggle to get to where I am now. I have plenty of story and experience to tell. To sum up all my experience let me tell you this, don’t give up. God our eternal Father loves you. This was a concept I had great difficulty grasping but it’s true. God loves us all and is deeply interested in our recovery. It’s not only the rotten addictive behaviors but also everything that lies underneath, the things we don’t tend to notice quite so much because we are not very honest with ourselves.

The Liberating Awareness of Choice

Choice is a gift that is available to us always. Between the idea or temptation of doing something and the action is a small moment in time granted unto us by God. This moment is the universe in which choice exists and it is always there. Often we develop habits.... good or bad but both "rob" us of choice. If my wife tells me she loves me and respond back in kind, then I told her I loved her out of reflex NOT choice. Therefore I did not Chose to love her.

I reacted and that is not love. To become aware of these moments of time that have been granted unto us and then become aware of our choice is a powerful source of healing and recovery from Heavenly Father.

Now there are choices we have made that become “automatic”.

i.e. –  Would you like a beer. No thank you – would be my automatic thing to say – I made that choice long ago – but if I do not take a short moment to reflect on why I made that choice and “reacted” the way I did, I will never grow beyond that 12 year old young man that decided to never drink. That choice must be mine to continue to make as an adult.

This same mind set is one aspect of what traps us in addiction. Hey, do you want to act out – SURE DO! Well now wait a minute…. Why do I want to? Right there is the moment that we can turn over to the Lord and walk away from that decision and chose to do anything else that is of worth and praise worthy.

The Porn Drug

I am a lust addict. Which is more broad than a porn addict and more prevalent. Even before viewing pornography the first time I sought female attention to an extreme because it was extremely lacking. Everytime a girl would smile at me or talk to me I would get a lust hit. I loved getting hugs in high school. I used to count the amount I would get each day. It was like a personal goal to get a higher number. Those were my lust hits. They were like my drug that would help ease the pain of life. I can now relate to alcoholics and drug addicts. They are just using their drug as self-medication and a coping mechanism. I too have turned to pornography as my drug. I am no different than them. Which is why I think that porn addiction is so prevalent in LDS culture. We cannot self-medicate through drugs and alcohol. They are just too open and we do not want to be judged. However, pornography is secret. Where only the person knows. Thus allowing for secrecy from peers. In addition, the amount is so much greater. If I wanted to self-medicate with beer or drugs I would have to go to the store or some illegal place to get them. However the porn drug is accessible everywhere and anywhere in the world. Beer or drugs are expensive. Porn is free. Anywhere in the entire world you can find almost unlimited porn in increasing amounts. There is never an end. That is why we must overcome the problem at the root. Why do we self-medicate using pornography? And what else can I do to replace my coping mechanism of pornography with something healthy and less harmful spiritually and physically?

Emotionally Prompted God Connections

I am continually surprised how many different emotions I can feel now that I’m not numbing out in my addiction. Who knew there were hundreds of different shades of happiness, and hundreds of shades of sadness; a whole galaxy of feelings! In my old life I was familiar with maybe a dozen or so, always cutting feelings off before they grew into something unexpected. Not reaching out to God, I was on my own and terrified of the unknown. I had to control my mood, even if that meant self-sabotage. I didn’t like the feeling of returning to the gutter, but at least I knew what to expect.

Phone Calls Help.

I would like to put in a word for using one of the most powerful (yet under-utilized) tools available in the 12 Step Program... Phone Calls!

If you have been in the twelve step program but haven't found much success, then please consider calling friends that you have met at group meeting. I know this sounds like such a simple suggestion, but it really works! The next time you feel like you are having a hard time, or that you feel you are tempted above that which you can bear, then simply make that phone call.

My Story of Addiction Recovery So Far.

My story began similar to many of us in addiction. It started at an early age for me. That regrettable day I was riding my bike through a field with a friend and off to one side we noticed a magazine. We were curious by the images. It didn’t take long for us to feel that this was not right so we threw it away. Looking back having no idea what a huge impact that day had on my life. I often wish someone could have warned me and my friend about the danger of pornography and what could happen as a result of looking at it.

Now that I have a son near the same age I was at the time. I have talked to him as clear as I can as a concerned father about the dangers of pornography and want him to escape not having this problem in his life.

The 6 Month Challenge

I'm a recovering addict to pornography, masturbation, lust, and a slew of other things.

I've been in and out of the program for 4 years.

I've found that I'm most effective at maintaining sobriety when a few things happen: