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March 29, 2015

Let Go Without Reservation

I have been part of the program for about 4 years, and have sponsored about a dozen guys. About 1/3 of the guys that I have sponsored have taken the steps and kept with them, and stayed with continued sobriety and recovery.

A recurring theme I have seen in the less successful is something I just re-read in the Big Book: "If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol."

I myself was beginning to fall in this trap last fall. I had a bout of sobriety and began having thoughts like, "I was overreacting," "I'm doing good now, I can enjoy a beautiful person without being affected," and "do I really need to go to a meeting every week."

The answers to these satanic temptations are, no, no, and yes. I cannot ever believe these lies. "Thus the devil cheateth their souls and carefully leadeth them down to hell." I am safe when I work the spiritual program of the steps.

I find myself beginning to slip emotionally and spiritually when I entertain those lies. The truth is for me is I am safe when I am listening to the spirit, and I feel closer to Him when I am attending weekly meetings and trying one day at time living in harmony with my Maker & His Children.

So I will keep attending and keep trying to live that credo. I feel this has worked for me and believe it can work for you too.

I Stopped Running

I can finally identify the root of my addiction, and how it got started. It seems crystal clear to me now. I doubt I would be able to understand as much as I do without the Savior and a good number of people pointing me in the right direction (or dragging me kicking and screaming in the right direction a few times). It also doesn’t hurt to have a little bit of sobriety, but as it turns out, I came to the realization less than a day after acting out yet again. It came during one of the most incredible, painful, joyous, strange, confusing, and wonderful moment of my life. But first, an explanation.

February 7, 2015

Asking Him to do What I Cannot

I recently realized that although I have been abstinent for almost two years I was still practicing my addiction in my mind. After a confusing relapse I wondering how did that happen I now realize that I was being lustful in my mind. I was not acting out but it was still in my mind Then when life got a little dicey I relapsed. I was devastated. Since then I have learned that it is really lust I am addicted to. So now when thoughts come from daily triggers that are all around I ask heavenly Father to take these away from me and to deliver me from it. I then move forward the best I can to turn my attention else where and soon the feelings pass as I am focused on something else. Now I know that recovery happens at the mental front not the physical one.

Having Hope, Come What May

I am ever grateful for the life we are given to enjoy here on the earth. With all that this life has to offer, either by way of happiness and joy or by the suffering and tribulations that we encounter. All are for our good and learning to become as our Father in Heaven. A while back I started a blog called “Come What May and Love It” the title borrowed from a talk given by Joseph B. Wirthlin. I loved the talk and his wonderful spirit as he introduced me to a concept that I needed in my life. I had to that point in my life been dealing with pornography addiction for over twenty years and until that day I had a pretty bad outlook on my life and future. The mist of darkness was thick around me and I was feeling deep despair until he shared this truth in a story about his daughter.

The Story of Moses and it’s correlation to we addicts

The Story of Moses and it’s correlation to we addicts

As we read Moses chapter 1in the Pearl of Great Price there are several subtle and not so subtle things we learn about ourselves.
1. First we learn 2 aspects of who GOD is
a. I am the Lord God Almighty, and Endless is my name; for I am without beginning of days or end of years; and is not this endless

August 4, 2014

The Parallel of a New Convert and a Recovering Addict

I teach a local community college, and because my class is nearly 12 credits (normal classes are 3 credits) I have a nearly 3 times the contact with my students as regular instructors. This allows us to get to know each other well and it often comes out in discussion that I am LDS. 

One day after class, a young man approached me and asked if we could talk. He was a new convert (less than 3 months) and was struggling to stay connected to his old friends. This was important to him because his family had not supported him in his decision to be baptized.

June 5, 2014

Screwtape Letter About Lust

Disclaimer: I based this letter I wrote off of C.S. Lewis’s novel The Screwtape Letters. For those of you unfamiliar with this book, it is a series of letters from a devil to his nephew about tempting humans to do wrong. I do not own the copyright nor am I making money off of this letter.

My Dear Wormwood,

I was delighted to hear that your patient has developed an addiction to lust; this is a monumental step downward in bringing him to Our Father Below. There are many ways in which you may now play with your patient in order to keep him in this addiction; I will go over these presently for your instruction. Nevertheless, there is always an opportunity for the Enemy to inspire repentance in his miserable little soul so be on your guard.

May 9, 2014

Lust Based Decisions and Resentment Based Decisions

These are two important concepts to remember in addiction recovery:
  • Lust is Satan's imitation of love
  • Resentment is the opposite of love
These two things can cause a world of hurt for addicts if they are not kept in check

Avoidance VS Action

As I have thought on Avoiding our addiction I have come to these thoughts:

April 10, 2014

Unconditional Love and Support or Destructive Enabling?

I recently became a sponsor and it has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. It has been an amazing turbo-boost to my recovery and to my spiritual growth and I encourage each of you to work hard to get to the point where you can start sponsoring.

I had an epiphany recently as I was preparing to sleep. Earlier in the day, I had been going over the step work of one of my sponsees and was thinking about it when it hit me. I noticed that my sponsee's work had been filled with very sincere sounding desires and intentions to overcome his addiction and lots of praise and thanksgiving for his wife and kids. He talked about how his wife was so loving and supportive of him, and how grateful he was that she wanted to help him overcome his addiction.

January 28, 2014

Beware of the False Start!

So I enjoy football, especially college football. There is a concept called a false start. In football, the quarterback has to call for the ball before his team can move. If anyone of them move before the quarterback calls for the ball, there is a penalty called a false start. That penalty results in the offense losing five yards.

December 19, 2013

Addiction and The Power of Breaking Isolation

We as humans have many God-given instincts: the desire for power, sex, companionship, entertainment, nourishment, shelter, comfort etc. Each of these instincts if used in the proper way can bless our lives and the lives of others. However, when one or more of the instincts is pushed to the extreme, and abused beyond its natural limits it can become a seemingly uncontrollable force of destruction.